The luckiest man in the world

I once drove from Madrid to Ulaanbaatar in a Fiat Panda. I have lived through a 368-day year and celebrated New Year twice in 24 hours. I have a stutter and speak fearlessly in front of hundreds or thousands of people. I choose the books I read obsessively, abandon the bad ones and reread the good ones.

I have eaten dusty bread from the hand of a beggar in Ethiopia, some Russian strangers got me drunk on vodka in a Soviet hotel in the middle of Siberia, and I once sneaked into the pyramids of Giza riding a dromedary. A policeman took me into a mosque in Turkey just so people could laugh at me. An elephant charged at my father and me. I swam in the Atlantic and the Pacific on the same day. I have swum with sharks and sea cows out in the open sea.

I once found Steve Wozniak lost in Mexico City and chatted with him for a while. On a flight to Dar es Salaam, a Chinese man sitting next to me started smoking and was arrested when we landed. I have also been through an emergency landing. The Portuguese police arrested me for something I did not do (or perhaps I did).

I have sold two companies and sunk just as many. I have recorded guitar and bass for an album in a professional studio. I had a car so old that the tow-truck driver used to greet me with a hug. I once changed a light bulb with help from ChatGPT.

My head is so big that if they made me a straw hat, donkeys would have to eat chocolate. My hands are softer than yours and I am willing to prove it. I collect aircraft safety cards and distrust anyone who enjoys pineapple on pizza or wears Crocs. I am writing a book and I am more than halfway through.

And I am still just getting started.

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